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mom life

5 things I observed on our trip to Disney World.

Disney World

Before you read: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to purchase through my links, at no cost to you. Please read my disclosure for more info.

Unless you’re one of those frequent Disney World flyers (we are not) or have 2 weeks and a bazillion dollars to spend (we do not), there WILL be moments where you think “what is this nightmare and why am I here”. Full disclaimer: we had a wonderfully magical experience at Disney. We really did. But if you are planning a family trip, there are a few things you should be prepared for so that, when they happen (because they will happen – unless you go the day after Thanksgiving, evidently), you and yours can avoid getting bogged down by complaining and make the best of it.

Disney World

Now, going to Disney is a lot like getting a haircut – even if you walk into a salon and ask to “look like Jennifer Aniston”, you will not, in fact, look like Jennifer Aniston. Which is why I find articles, blog posts, and advice from friends who have gone minimally helpful.

flight to Disney World

Maybe you’ll pick up a helpful tidbit here and there, but everyone’s goals for Disney are so different, it’s hard to find that *one right way* to do it. So instead, I offer you this post with my top 5 observations from our recent trip. As obvious as it may seem, this post, at the very least, will serve as a reminder for the next time we go so that we can manage our expectations accordingly (lest we forget the reality of Disney World). Maybe you’ll find something helpful; at the very least you’ll get a good chuckle out of it.

1. Everyone is NOT happy and smiling all the time.

Exhaustion sets in.

Much like the scarcity of negative or bad pictures on social media, it is likely that you will rarely see a picture of screaming kids and arguing adults with Cinderella’s Castle lit up in the background. But because EVERYONE is sleep deprived and over stimulated, there will be screaming kids and arguing adults scattered throughout the streets of Disney. You WILL experience meltdowns – related to wanting something and not getting it, getting something and not wanting it, sheer exhaustion, or a combination of the all of them (most likely the latter). If your kids aren’t screaming and crying and/or passed out crook-necked in a stroller… well, you’re not doing it right. The staff, however, was always cheery and bright.

We fit perfectly in our hotel room. The little Murphy bed was great for Emily!

2. There are no “villains”.

The closest Emily got to Maleficent was having her painted on her face. This was a highlight for her.

Just about the only adults that you WON’T see arguing or zonked are cast members (and potentially the adults that come without kids… they may be on to something… but that’s another post #adultsonlyvaca). For those of you who are not familiar, “cast members” are all members of the Disney staff, and they are typically dressed in as a main or peripheral character from your favorite Disney movie. (side note: there will also be people dressed like this who ARE NOT cast members… Just FYI.) But you know who you WON’T see? Villains. Now if you see one of the live action shows, some of them have villains. But I did not see one single villain roaming about the streets. No Cruella De Vil, no Ursela, no Maleficent. So this in particular bummed me out. And, honestly, other than Elsa and Anna, the one other person Emily was hoping to see was Maleficent (hence her face paint). She even asked why Maleficent wasn’t an option at the Bipidi Bobidi Bootique.

This was fun. Would’ve been a lot cooler if she were turned into Maleficent or Ursula.

3. You will be waiting in line… always a lot.

Disney World
Princess Aurora waiting in line.

At Disney World, you’ll wait in line for everything – bathrooms, rides, attractions, food, transportation… Duh. I know. Probably as obvious as crowds and mouse ears. But it needs to be said BECAUSE going into your Disney trip you’ll have all sorts of ideas on what you’re going to get accomplished each day. You can try and build in “enough” of a buffer to account for wait times, just don’t get discouraged when you don’t do all that you want. The good news is that, with the exception of the bathrooms, Disney has built in ways to minimize the wait times: the ability to reserve fast passes, complete mobile food orders, make dining reservations, as well as an app that estimates current wait times for each park. But beware of over-scheduling, too. Some dining places will charge you a late cancellation fee if you miss a reservation.

4. You can find delicious food. But it’s expensive.

Disney World
Not sure why they would sell hot-dogs this large… Should’ve checked this out before ordering.

According to the Disney World Help Center:

Guests are allowed to bring outside food and nonalcoholic beverage items into the park for self-consumption, provided they are not in glass containers and do not require heating, reheating, processing, refrigeration or temperature control and do not have pungent odors.

Disney World Help Center

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS! The food isn’t bad… I would even argue that the majority of it is good. But one of the days we spent $75 on lunch for the 5 of us, which didn’t even include alcohol. If you do opt for bringing food in, I recommend getting one of these cooler backpacks. It fit a TON, but was still light to carry and it is leak proof and insulated so it kept things cold all day! And if you’re not bringing food in. Eat at Epcot. We did every single night.

Beyond the quality of the food, the restaurants are some of the best places to see and visit characters. We thoroughly enjoyed the character dinner at the Crystal Palace.

  • The fireworks were happening so the kiddos missed Eeyore.

5. There are some pretty good accommodations for the physically impaired, but some pretty lousy-mannered humans.

Less than a week before our Disney World trip, I fell playing soccer and injured my knee really badly (see picture). After the initial wave of pain and panic, I settled into the realization that I wasn’t going to be able to do all the walking/standing/etc. required at Disney. I started looking into my options and luckily (also unfortunately?) my sister’s friend had a similar thing happen to her before their Disney trip… and she had rented a scooter. So for about $160 for the entire 4 days, I had a shiny red scooter waiting for me upon our arrival at the resort. It was mine to keep for the duration of our stay (and also mine to plug in at night… be sure to check that the outlets in your room are functional). Now, I’m not going to say you should draw straws before your trip and club someone on the knee a la Nancy Kerrigan circa 1994. I WILL tell you that not only did the scooter help immensely with getting around (for me AND for tired children), but because I was unable to walk long distances or keep my leg in a “down” position for extended periods of time, I was able to get a disability access card for our whole group. Which essentially allowed us to access a virtual queue; we were in line without having to be in line. And every single cast member we interacted with was extremely helpful – from parallel parking me on the buses (because YIKES), to transferring the scooter from the entrance to the exit of rides, to allowing me to charge up while eating lunch… Customer service A++.

The only downside was navigating the crowds. PSA: be kind to the wheelchair-bound and scooter-driving population. Acknowledge them, but don’t stare. Make space for them and don’t cut them off, just like you wouldn’t cut off a human walking. And if you do, say excuse me. Even though I was averaging some decent speeds, I frequently lost the group because I was avoiding pedestrians, only a handful of which apologized. (Shout out to Jonathan and Matthew who were VERY good at setting picks!)

Are you planning a Disney World trip? Have you recently gone to Disney World? What am I missing? Tell me in the comments below!

Youth Sports: A Cautionary Tale

This past spring, I watched my son fall out of love with baseball.  

Let me back up.

Like most athletically inclined kids in youth sports, after showing some talent during recreational baseball, Benny was encouraged to tryout for the travel team.  We, as parents, were all for it. And why not? He’ll get to play more (like, in addition to playing rec ball), get training from coaches who can teach him all the technical things (as a supplement to rec) with advanced-level players (theoretically, also making him better) – all of these working towards the goal of him improving at doing something he loves. We saw no reason NOT to get Benny into travel baseball.

Fast forward to the middle of the season.

Practices do not go great, a lot of standing around and not a whole lot of baseball other than ground balls and pop flies (full disclosure, I’ve been to zero baseball practices before this so I’m not sure what to expect). Games were even worse; we lose 10 of the 11 games (more than half by the slaughter rule). My 7 year old rotates between outfield and sitting out innings and not all kids take a turn sitting out.  Because the line-up is based on “batting average”, he gets up to bat fewer times than the kids at the front of the line-up and therefore has fewer chances to raise his average.  Parents are instructed to tell the kids not to ask to play certain positions nor to ask to bat higher in the line-up; these things are “earned”, but they do not rotate positions in practice. Practices are generally focused on game situations, not technical development, so there is a lack of hitting instruction. Parents are also told to invest in private batting lessons and to spend time in the batting cages outside of practice.

Practices and games continue, and I watch as something I can only compare to a sort of reverse wizard of oz effect; the excitement and joy that once lit up Benny’s little face had drained and left behind a dull greyness, lifelessness, and apathy. He is no longer excited to go to practice or games and eventually decides against trying out for baseball in the fall. His reason? It’s no longer fun.

It’s pretty elementary, really: when we stop making the things fun, the kids don’t want to do the things. 

In fact, a 2014 study reported that 90% of the kids responding said “fun” was the main reason they played (Four reasons adulitficatin is hurting kids – john osullivan). What’s more, the kids were asked how they define “fun” – winning was 48thon the list out of 81 characteristics. (link Amanda Visek of GW’s study). So when we focus heavily on winning we basically neglect all of the other characteristics that make the sport fun for kids. Winning doesn’t always equal fun.

Which is not to say winning shouldn’t be part of it.

Participation medals do nothing for our kids. But rather than having winning be the main priority, which results in things like running tryouts for 6, 7, and 8 year olds based solely on current skill, we should instead be focusing on identifying potential and developing that potential. When we do this, winning will come naturally. (Read John O’Sullivan’s article on excellence and development over strictly winning here.)

What happened with Benny and his baseball team is anecdotal evidence…

…of what John O’Sullivan describes as one of our biggest mistakes in youth sports: placing talent selection above talent identification. Talent Identification, he says, “requires the skill to weigh all the physical, physiological, psychological, and technical components of an athlete”. Conversely, Talent Selection, which is promoted by a “win at all costs youth sports culture”, is where coaches choose players “with the current ability to participate and be successful” in the near future (read O’Sullivan’s article here). With this mindset, coaches will only select and play the athletes with current skill, and the gap between these kids and the kids who need the development will continue to grow.  Or worse, the kids who aren’t being developed will just quit. 

So it’s no wonder the age at which kids quit a sport is trending younger and younger…

…and it’s not because they want to try other sports (this happens in only a small fraction of the situations; 45% of children end up only playing one sport – Survey: Kids quit most sports by age 11). Instead, kids are specializing at an earlier age, which can lead to early burn-out (and, duh, more quitting), but even more importantly there are physical implications (read more here). The kids that aren’t specializing? Maybe playing video games instead.

At this point it may seem that I am dumping a heavy load of blame solely on the coaches…

…but we as parents are just as culpable.  I will admit that during discussions about what the kids will and won’t commit to and why, I’ve found myself thinking about the wrong things. Instead of focusing on the important things (is he having fun, will he learn from this experience, are we doing what’s right for him), I got lost in notions of scholarship potential and the risk of getting left behind by peers if he missing out on technical training.   While there are more extreme cases of this, like parents shelling out thousands on specialty trainers or punishing their kids when they lose or have a bad game, it all goes against what we should be teaching our kids. When we take a step back, it is clear that we are losing sight of what youth sports are designed to do.   

Coaches and parents, together, are slowly squeezing the fun out of youth sports…

…by pressuring kids from both sides. We as coaches seem more motivated by winning and recognition. We as parents seem increasingly driven by the desire to “get ahead” for our kids and the entertainment aspect of winning. We need to be better. The conversation has exponentially increased in intensity which only indicates that it will continue. And while I don’t think we can fix this entirely or reverse the changes, there are things we can do and be mindful of to slow down the deterioration moving forward.  As parents, we should educate ourselves and be more deliberate in how we guide our kids as it pertains to youth sports.  Additionally, youth sports programs should provide continual education for coaches not only in the technical realm, but also on how their presence and interaction with kids affects them developmentally and psychologically. 

In this article John O’Sullivan provides succinct advice for parents, coaches, and youth sports programs on moving away from a win-driven atmosphere and instead fostering a developmental atmosphere that will benefit the kids it serves. Additionally, Dr. David Feigley (Rutgers University) wrote a great article that isolates some of the discussion points on the importance of winning that should be included in coaching education programs universally.  

Consider yourself lucky if you haven’t gone through this in your youth sports experience. 

I’d like to say this is an isolated incident but it happens everywhere and across all sports.  The good thing for us is, at 8 years old, Benny is resilient.  He is still happy playing soccer and basketball and backyard football. He is still learning and gaining from his development in other sports. And now we are more thoughtful as we navigate the world of youth sports for Benny, and for Emily and Alex.  A word of advice for parents and coaches: remember the real reason our kids are playing youth sports.

youth sports
Photo credit: Cindy Faherty via Facebook

If this subject interests you, here are some other articles worth reading:

John O’Sullivan’s Four reasons why ‘Adultification’ of youth sports is hurting kids Reasons and The Professionalization of Youth Sports

Have you experienced something like this? Tell me your story in the comments below.

Planning Outfits for a Family Photo Shoot

Before you read: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to purchase through my links, at no cost to you. Please read my disclosure for more info.

One of the coolest things about raising kiddos is watching their personalities slowly emerge. It always amazes me how our three, who have more or less grown up in identical settings (with a few moves sprinkled in) can be SO different.  Like most, we have thousands of photos documenting the growth in our smartphones, but we also make it a priority to get professional family photos done every couple years (and we try to coordinate the outfits for a family photo shoot).   

  • August 2019
  • November 2017

Now, as the kids are getting older and getting more “themselves”, I try not to make them wear things that aren’t “them” (read: the kids control pretty much everything). We’ve never been the “matchy-matchy” type family, but the Type A, art and design junkie, math geek in me likes cohesion. Margaret Clattenburg of Margaret Clara Photography advises against being too matchy, too.

“Complimentary colors are good and if someone plans to wear a pattern someone else should wear a solid color.  For moms, maxi flowy dresses always photograph nicely.”

Margaret Clattenburg of Margaret Clara Photography

Professional photographers will know how to photograph whatever you wear, but if you’re just getting out the old tripod (or doing the “grab a bunch of stuff and balance the smart phone” thing)…

Here are some things to think about when planning outfits for a family photo shoot:

Find a Signature Piece … and build from there.

It isn’t as simple as picking a color theme:  one person’s “blue” may be drastically different than your “blue”. Just as denim for one may be dark blue skinny jeans, but for another it may be an acid wash mini skirt (and probably not a good one).  Look in your closet, your partner’s closet, your childrens’ closets. Browse some of your favorite online retailers. Find something – ONE THING – that you are drawn to, whether it is for yourself or one of your family members, and one that is authentic to the style of the individual it is for. Something that can be worn even beyond the outfit for a family photo shoot (obviously this box is checked if it’s already in the closet). Now here’s the key: this piece should have the most colors in it and should be a print or pattern.

For our latest shoot, the starting point was this miniboden dress for Emily.  Bonus: it was on sale! I liked it because the print provided a color palette to build the other outfits with, but it was also very simple and timeless. And it was ***very*** Emily. 

Focus on the kids first… then the grownups.

For two reasons: 

  1. because it’s cheaper/more fun/easier/etc. to choose something your kids already have OR to purchase an item or two to compliment what they already have; and
  2. let’s be honest, they’re really the stars of the show anyway, so, best have them looking 100%.

So following this logic, the signature piece will, 99.9% of the time, be something one of the kids is wearing and the other outfits are built based on this foundation.

When planning the other outfits for a family photo shoot, choose things that have something in common with this focal point piece.  So if your focal point is a pattern with blue, red, yellow, and pink, maybe you select a white shirt with the same red as a stripe.  It’s important that the common thread (see what I did there) “match”, but that’s it.  You could even choose the same pattern in completely separate colors. This is a tad trickier, but in this situation, the pattern is the commonality.

Benny and Alex’s outfits were built simultaneously using the blue and red from Emily’s dress.

Address the pickiest person/ people… FIRST.

This rule may come into play when picking the signature piece.  But, PLOT TWIST, it also may be the last person you address, which would mean the most neutral of outfits.  It sounds contradictory, but each situation is different. For our family, believe it or not, the pickiest is Benny, our 8 year old.  Rarely is he ever NOT wearing active wear, and when he does, an argument has probably ensued, which has ONLY been resolved through heavy negotiations and bribery. We kept his outfit simple for this photo shoot: white tee and these blue shorts from the GAP.  These shorts are GREAT because they look “dressy” but Surprise! They’re actually athletic shorts. Benny was pretty pumped about it. And Alex… will wear just about anything but must always be sparkling.

  • Second pickiest is probably Scott, which is why his outfit is simple and is almost always a combination of under armour golf shirt, under armour shorts, and/or a plain-ish tee.
  • Alex’s crab shirt can be found here!

Let the clothes speak… for the individual wearing them.

Don’t put your daughter in a dress if she would rather be in jeans and sneakers.  Don’t put your son in a polo shirt if he hates to be in “fancy” clothes. If people aren’t feeling “themselves”, not only will the shoot not go as smoothly, but the resulting pictures won’t be representative of who you are as a family. You want to look back at the photos and see authenticity, not people playing dress-up (there’s always the beach boardwalk old time photos for that!).

My outfit: Trust Me Bodysuit by Free People + Emmett Wide-Leg Crop Pants by Madewell + Mirage Sandal by Matisse

Location, location, location… may not be *that* important.

You don’t need to go anywhere exotic to get great photos. Afterall, it’s merely a backdrop for your display of love! If it’s important to you, go to a location with meaning, but I have honestly seen some great locations on the side of the road. The *timing* of the shoot, however, is key.  “Unless you want really contrast photos, never plan for between 10-3.” says Clattenburg. But if you want to shoot within those hours, she recommends somewhere with taller trees to diffuse the light.

Golden hour falls between an hour to an hour and a half before sunset (or after sunrise).  Plan accordingly!

For extended families…the same rules apply.

Don’t be too vague or too specific. If people want detailed instructions on what to wear, they’ll ask (and then you can send them what your nuclear family is wearing for reference); otherwise give people the freedom to wear what they feel comfortable in for. 

Comfortable people = happy people = great photos.  

Outfits for a family photo shoot
So much cohesion, I’m obsessed. Then there are Benny’s red slides…

Tell me in the comments below, do you have regular family photos taken? How often?

A giant, love-filled thank you to Margaret Clattenburg (Margaret Clara Photography) for sharing her wonderful photography skills with us. As usual, we could not be more in love with our family photos. If you’re on the hunt for a wedding/family/newborn/maternity/birthday/you-name-it photographer, reach out to Margaret via her website or any of the social media channels. You will not be disappointed!

Girls Trip to Saratoga Springs, NY

Prime @ Saratoga National, Saratoga Springs, NY

Before you read: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to purchase through my links, at no cost to you. Please read my disclosure for more info.

Every year in July our little girl gang (current members: my daughter, Em; my sisters – Jackie and Hilary; our mom – Susan aka Gram Gram; my niece, Maisie; and me!) take a long weekend and explore a little corner of the world. This year, rather than follow the crowds coastal for a beach vacay, we decided to look inland: Saratoga Springs, NY. As those of you from the area (and those of you that travel to the area) can attest, it really is a dream summer vacation locale. 

Tourists originally journeyed to the area for it’s natural mineral springs (which still exist are really cool), but with the city’s focus on the surrounding natural resources combined with the historical significance of the area (battle of Saratoga, Schuylerville, Saratoga National Historical Park, etc.), the strong visual and performing arts veins (SPAC, dance hall of fame, Yaddo, etc.), the Saratoga Race Track, the family resort vibe and the bustling night life, this city truly is a place for everyone.

Getting there…

Emily and I left at Maryland at 8:45am on a Thursday and arrived in Saratoga Springs exactly five hours later. (Emily seems to be “blessed” with a bladder like me and we didn’t have to stop ONCE – we will def have to stop with the boys in tow.)  We made our way to Target (duh) for the **essentials** (i.e., toothbrushes that we inevitably forget every time and this fun hat for Em) and made it to our VRBO by late afternoon. Bonus: all of us fit in the minivan, which made traveling around town a breeze (when we weren’t walking – bonus to staying in town).

She’ll sit forever as long as she has Blankie! Also, if you’re in the market for a great carseat that you’ll never need to change, check out the Graco 4ever Carseat!

Eating there…

We only scratched the surface of the food scene here, can’t wait to go back and try places like Boca Bistro, Salt & Char, and Druthers Brewing Company.

Gaffney’s

Thursday night dinner was a bit of a cluster – we didn’t have reservations anywhere and with opening ceremonies for the race track, it took a bit to find a restaurant that could fit us (the torrential downpour didn’t help matters either).  Good news, though, because the downtown area is full of places to eat, it didn’t take long to land somewhere (and after that night we had beautifully sunny days!). We ate at Gaffney’s which, on the bar scene to fine dining spectrum, is leaning heavily towards the former. They have patio seating, but because it was raining we sat on the “porch”, which had retractable floor to ceiling windows (that they closed as the rain got heavier). The food was above average bar food, but it’s not going to win any awards with its drink menu.  The live music was starting as we were leaving and it seemed like a good crowd was forming. 

Uncommon Grounds

One morning the early birds (i.e., the moms, the toddlers, and the teacher) walked to the downtown area for coffee and bagels at Uncommon Grounds (¾ of a mile through beautiful neighborhood that reminded me of the garden district in New Orleans).  This place was PACKED.  Much like a typical bagel place you stand in line, order and pick up your food, and seat yourself.  Even with it being crowded we didn’t have to wait for a table, but it was inside as the outside seating was limited. Espresso and coffee drinks and bagel sandwiches were on point (which is why it’s the arguably the best coffee joint in the heart of the downtown area – trip advisor).  We got carry out for the matriarch’s (my mom and aunt back at the place).  

After several failed attempts at a selfie, a nice patron offered to take a photo for us. And if anyone was wondering, there IS a mailbox right outside if you need to mail anything.

Bread Basket Bakery

We also tried Bread Basket Bakery, which is located on Spring Street, about a block and half away from the heart of downtown and directly across from Congress Park.  With its comfortable, shaded outdoor seating and killer homemade baked goods and breakfast eats (try the egg sandwich on a grilled scone!), this place was my favorite (a parking lot in the back makes it really convenient if you drive there, too).  

We loved the outside seating here. And there was plenty of it!

Saratoga Springs Farmers Market

As we do on every girls trip, we visited the local farmers market on Saturday.  The Saratoga Springs farmers market is located at the High Rock Park pavilions.  As expected, there were TONS of amazing, locally sourced items: too many to list but it included flowers, fruits, vegetables, meats, seafood, cheese, eggs, freshly made pasta, and even locally distilled bourbon and vodka! Everything we needed for our home-cooked surprise birthday celebration for Aunt Mary! 

If you ever come across Lions Mane Mushrooms try them; they were my favorite find. Thanks, Hilcatty, for picking them out! (Try them sliced super thing, lightly sautéed with garlic and tossed with fresh pasta and Parmesan cheese!)
Also – this spreadable cheese from Nettle Meadow Farm – if you see it, get it. You won’t regret it! #noragrets #notone
Birthday set-up, complete with custom Yeti wine tumblers! #thanksgramgram
And of course, a birthday celebration wouldn’t be complete without a cake: Tiramisu from Mrs. London’s Bakery.

Saratoga Winery

Plan on making a night of it at the Saratoga Winery (10 minutes from downtown) if you go – we definitely could have! They had awesome live music from the Vinny Michaels Band, and delicious local craft beer and wine flights plus some fun signature cocktails made with locally distilled spirits. We ordered the cheese board, some wood-fired pizzas (the Bill & Pat was my favorite!) and drank, ate, sang and danced the evening away.  They also have a patio with a fire pit (lit at dusk), lawn games, and some picnic tables (to sit at while watching the tiny girl gang run around).  Heads-up: it is in the middle of the woods, so it was a little buggy – but these bug bracelets helped keep them away!

Choose your own wine (or beer or cocktail) flight. Pretty cool way to save room on the table, but made it a tad difficult to converse!
These mules were the BEST.
Plenty of space out back for yard games AND gallivanting.

Prime at Saratoga National

While we only stopped here for a photo op and a drink, the setting alone makes us want to return. Located on the sprawling grounds of Saratoga National Golf Course, it is a perfect place to relax and enjoy brunch (live jazz brunch on Sundays!), lunch, happy hour, or dinner.  I was nervous about bringing the tiny girl gang into a place this “fancy” (prices are definitely in the $$$ category) but we never felt out of place or unwelcome; it’s truly a family establishment!

Flowy skirts for everyone.

Sperry’s

On our final night, we ate on the garden patio at Sperry’s.  A historic restaurant with a charming atmosphere and excellent food. Again, on the higher end of the price range, but worth it. There is no “children’s menu” and they specifically ask that no substitutions be made, but when we asked for a few raviolis (which were part of an entrée) separately for the tiny girl gang they happily accommodated us.  The atmosphere was so relaxed, that after the meal was over, the little girls were able to run around for a bit while the grownups finished up some after dinner cocktails.  Side note: they do have inside dining here and a really cool looking bar – but it seemed a bit more stuffy in there.

Photo courtesy of Sperry’s.
Seared Diver Scallops, red curry broth, jasmine rice, lobster shiitake mushrooms.

Being there…

My favorite part about the city (the parts that we saw) is that it clearly had a lot of people and wealth flowing through it but it isn’t over urbanized. (I actually struggled to find a gas station even when I put the address in the gps; they did a great job camouflaging it.) Our VRBO was situated pretty centrally between the Saratoga Race Track and Congress Park, which was ideal for exploring the downtown area.

Congress Park

Exploring Congress Park (which was designed by the same guy who designed Central Park and Prospect Park) in the mornings was especially fun for the tiny girl gang. While it doesn’t have a playground area (which disappointed Em) it does have a plenty of fountains, a few mineral springs, beautifully manicured grass to run around in, a historic wooden carousel, and everywhere you looked there were mama ducks and ducklings! According to the signage (and very obviously) there is a duck population issue there (the ducks even have a twitter handle: @CPDucks) but we were happy to see the sweet little ducklings running around (just don’t feed them). What we didn’t explore, but I am super intrigued by, is the Canfield Casino, which is one of Saratoga Springs’ most treasured landmarks.

Photo courtesy of the saratogian.com.
Right outside the Canfield Casino is the Morissey Fountain (named for the founder of the Saratoga Race Track), a 150 year old foundation that was just recently restored (we failed to get a picture of us with it!).
  • There are several mineral fountains scattered throughout the park, each with a different smell/taste. This is Congress Spring, discovered in 1792.
  • Another one of the fountains you’ll find nestled on the clean and manicured grounds of the park.
Spirit of Life statue: a memorial to Spencer Trask, who, among other things, turned his 400 acre estate into Yaddo, an artists and writers colony. (Yaddo is #1 on the list of places to visit when we return.)
  • The historic wooden carousel – make sure you bring cash (no coins) to feed the “token” machine. 
  • Each token is a dollar and is good for one ride. Anyone under age 5 is free with a paying adult. Check here for times.
Just a girl and some ducklings. So. Many. DUCKLINGS.

High Rock Park

While at the farmer’s market, we explored a bit of High Rock Park as well (love two-fors…).  Here we found more mineral springs, as well as the 9/11 memorial sculpture, Tempered By Memory, made from World Trade Center Steel. 

Tempered by Memory, by Noah Savett & John Van Alstine, constructed of five large pieces of steel from the World Trade Center.
Photo courtesy of Saratoga-springs.org
  • Peerless Spring (in the background, behind the other tourists).
  • High Rock Spring, known to Native Americans for thousands of years for its healing powers.

Spa Cascada

On Saturday while we prepped for the surprise birthday celebration at the house, Gram Gram and Aunt Mary got massages at Spa Cascada.  This is located in the downtown area so it’s easy to get to and they both had a great experience. Plus, word on the street is that, when in town on tour, Dave Matthews has a standing appointment with one of the masseuses here.  

Photo courtesy of Spa Cascada

Saratoga Race Course

The next time we visit Saratoga Springs, we will be carving out a day for the races.  The vibe ranged from a fancy polo match, as you would expect, to a country music festival, and everything in between – kids welcome, coolers welcome.  It has the old-time charm you would expect but with modern amenities.   

Saratoga Race Course opened in 1863 and is the fourth oldest track in the country.

Saratoga Arts

As I mentioned earlier, Saratoga Springs is rich in the arts, both visual and performing. Unfortunately we didn’t get to explore much of either during this trip, but we did get to experience the current exhibit at Saratoga Arts: the 10×10 Community Arts Show. This exhibition is open to everyone – “new artists, veteran artists, young and old artists, artists who are showing their work for the first time and artists who have been showing their work for years” and “this year [the] youngest artist is 3 and [the] oldest artist is in her 90s”. I was especially drawn to the exhibit and will probably enter it next year! It has even inspired a little project here at home – stay tuned!

  • I always enjoy exploring the art scene anywhere we go; inspiring and especially meaningful that I am able to share it with Em.

Must-haves to make the trip go smoothly…

We got this game after playing at a friends house one night (thanks Ryan and Christina!). While the tiny girl gang slept at night, we sat around the coffee table in the living room and talked, laughed, and played games like this one! Anomia was a treat for all, although we’re a pretty competitive bunch and it got a little heated!
bug repellant bracelet
As I mentioned earlier, these were great in keeping bugs away. We’ve used them on multiple occasions and they’ve never failed! The problem is that the tiny girl gang doesn’t want to take them off once we’re inside!
If you go on group trips and you don’t use Splitwise YOU ARE MISSING OUT. I was introduced to this at Coachella a couple years ago and it was a HUGE hit with this girl trip. Splitwise is an app (or website) that keeps track of expenses and splits them among members of a group. It means no more splitting checks, no more going halfsies on groceries, no more trying to figure out who owes whom. Splitwise does it for you and there’s even an option for simplifying debts so the least amount of money exchanges hands.

We will be back…

As the city’s motto boasts, “health, history, horses” are it’s focal points – we merely scratched the surface; there are so many more things to explore! Here are the places on our list for next time:

Those that are from the area and those who visit frequently – what am I missing? What should I add to this list!? Comment below!

7 books to read this summer

books to read this summer

(what I’m reading summer 2019)

As much as I love to read, I find it hard to keep up on the “it” books to read each season.  So while some of these are not fresh off the presses, they are (so far) wonderful reads that I am glad I started. (And yes, I read multiple books at once – that’s who I am).Without further ado, here is a list of the 7 books I am reading this summer (in no particular order), and why they should be on your list of books to read this summer, too!

Shantaram

by Gregory David Roberts

books to read this summer - shantaram
Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts

This book is a fictionalized account about (and by) an Australian heroin addict and convicted bank robber who escapes prison and travels to Bombay, India.  So far, it’s a sensory overload, in a GREAT way – I really enjoy writing that not only makes you see things, but hear and smell and taste and feel them, too.  The way the author describes each moment really puts you in the streets of Bombay in the late 70s, but it doesn’t go overboard such that you would lose the story. This is a great book for when you have alone time (HA) and minimal interruptions.  (Buy on Amazon)

#IMOMSOHARD

by Kristin Hensley & Jen Smedley

books to read this summer - #IMOMSOHARD
#IMOMSOHARD by Kristin Hensley & Jen Smedley

I received this as gift for mother’s day from my mother in law (thanks, Niecy!), so it was an easy add to my list of books to read this summer.  It’s a laugh-out-loud, cry-out-loud, feel-good, honest take on real life: marriage, parenting, being a woman, etc.  It’s a great read for the family vacation to the beach – you know, an easy book to pick up in between yelling at kids to stop throwing sand and reapplying sunscreen to sandy wet squirmy toddlers.  (Buy on Amazon)

You Are A Badass

by Jen Sincero

books to read this summer - you are a badass
You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero

I’ve been super into podcasts lately (especially this one) and the name of this book kept coming up. So far, this book has opened my eyes to the already-existing abundance all around and to the concept that the vibes one puts out will be the vibes one gets back. As soon as I started reading it I felt a difference. It basically lights a spark under your ass and makes you feel likelets you KNOW you can do ANYTHING. This is one of those books I can’t read fast enough and I can foresee reading over and over and over. Bonus: everything it talks about I’ve found super applicable to mom-ing and raising kids, too. (Buy on Amazon)

Educated

by Tara Westover

books to read this summer - Educated
Educated by Tara Westover

I have yet to start this book, but from the summary on the inside of the book jacket (and the many, many rave reviews) I know it’ll be amazing. It’s a memoir that recounts the life of the author, who was born and raised by survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, and her journey to get “educated”.  And while I haven’t experienced specifically what the author writes about, the message is universal and one that everyone can connect with their own story. I’m sure mine is not the only list of books to read this summer it is on. (Buy on Amazon)

Unbroken

by Laura Hillenbrand

books to read this summer - Unbroken
Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand

Somehow I woke up one day and this was downloaded on iBooks and I have no idea how it happened.  I had heard of the book before, sure, but to be honest it wasn’t on my short list of books to read (I don’t love reading stories to which I know the ending).  But since it was there and since I’m a pretty big fan of history I started reading it and it’s been a really cool read.  The story of Louis Zamperini is in and of itself amazing, and having the “personal” and real connection to 1940s athletics mixed with wartime makes it feel more approachable than a group of facts strung together.  A great way to learn. (Buy on Amazon)

Reading Picture Books with Children

by Megan Down Lambert

books to read this summer - Reading Picture Books with Children
Reading Picture Books with Children by Megan Dowd Lambert

I didn’t find this book during my search for books to read this summer, but you know that saying – one tends to find things when one is not looking for them. I stumbled upon this book while doing some research for another post on kids and perspective (stay-tuned!) and it drew me in for two reasons. 1) it calls for a focus on the parts of the book we see but often overlook to an extent (artwork, book jacket, etc.) and 2) it focuses on reading with children as a two-way interaction. And it is really opening my eyes to the time we allot in our home for reading with the kids.

We encourage a lot of independent reading now that the boys are older, but almost every night we read books as a family.  The Whole Book Approach has broadened my intention for this time together and also in my own reading (i.e., reading using a kindle or iBooks changes the “whole book” experience). Definitely something to integrate to encourage summer learning (like the Summer Bingo Boards)! (Buy on Amazon)

Where the Crawdads Sing

by Delia Owens

books to read this summer - where the crawdads sing
Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

“Jackie’s Pick” – My sister, Jackie, who is Queen of the North an English teacher and literature enthusiast, adds this final recommendation to the books to read this summer. This book is “an exciting and complex fictional story about two diverse plot lines that eventually come together in the end”.  She recommends it “for teens through adults, especially those who enjoy historical references to the culture of America in the south in the 1950s”. (Buy on Amazon)

What’s on your list of books to read this summer? Tell me in the comments! Happy reading!

Hindsight: A Postpartum Depression Story

You know those moments that you think back on and wish they had gone a certain way? It’s not necessarily regret, but a sort of frustration and understanding that, with the knowledge you now have, being on the “other side” of it, it could have gone so differently. It’s the moments that were within your control (and/or the control of the people around you) that you yearn for, to do it over again. 

The birth of my first son is that moment for me.  Well, not the actual birth but the hours, days, weeks, and months that followed (and, perhaps, the months leading up to it).  

This story has a happy ending.  Other than coming two weeks early with the cord around his neck there were no complications. Benny is a healthy and happy almost 8 year old. But the moments immediately after his birth were lonely. I barely remember holding him. What I do remember is being in bed in the dimly lit hospital room, half reclined and half naked in the bed, with numb legs and a numb mind, just waiting.  Waiting for the doctors to finish repairing me. Waiting or the feeling to come back to my lower half. Waiting for the chance to nurse my son. Waiting for the transfer to my post partum room.  Waiting for… something else? With no baby in my arms. For hours. I didn’t ask questions. I thought it was how it was supposed to be.  It’s still unclear why I only had mere seconds to hold my newborn son after his birth. (It was only after having two more children and experiencing the moments after birth that I became conscious of what could have been with Benny.)

I remember trying to nurse with a room full of visitors after finally being reunited with Benny: tears rolling down my face as I unsuccessfully attempted to fulfill the most basic human need for my son; my husband propping up a pillow to block the view of us in the bed instead of asking the visitors to leave; nurses squeezing and pulling and making comments about my body. And I realize now that in that moment I had failed myself.

In the weeks after we left the hospital, I continued to experience failure:  the failure to breastfeed (because I had assumed it would just happen and so I wasn’t prepared); the failure to speak up for what I wanted (for me and my son, for our new little family, for boundaries that needed to be set); the failure of my support system (admittedly to no fault of their own, they were just as unprepared as I was); the failure to ask for help because I didn’t know I needed it.   

And in all this failure, I sunk into my darkness of postpartum depression. 

But my darkness wasn’t filled with sadness and crying.  It wasn’t filled with disconnectedness and a lack of love for my son.  It was filled with anxiety. It was filled with anger and distrust and paranoia.  I felt like a failure as a mother because I couldn’t nurse my son, so I compensated with being in control of every second of his being.  I felt like everyone was trying to take my baby from me, so I very rarely allowed visitors.  Because I rarely wanted to leave the house, tension rose between my husband and me and furthered my isolating thoughts.  And so everyone was against me; it was just Benny and me against the world. 

Some women say that they knew something wasn’t “right” which prompted them to seek help.  Women experiencing postpartum depression in a second or subsequent birth after a “normal” experience may possibly have the awareness to recognize that. But this was my first time, and I didn’t. I thought I was being rational. I didn’t know it was supposed to be different.  I didn’t think I needed help.  I went to my post partum check up and answered the questions: “do you feel ‘sad’ or unable to connect with your newborn?” – NO. And no one stepped in and said, “this may not be normal, let’s go together and talk to someone”. And so our tiny family suffered in our dawning moments.  And I suffered silently in my darkness. 

My judgment was so clouded that I was not aware that I needed help, but I am not placing blame entirely on the people that surrounded me.  Most people look for textbook signs of depression when identifying postpartum depression. But it’s not just sadness, continuous crying, and disconnectedness.  It’s anger and paranoia.  It’s being emotionally irrational, being controlling and feeling out of control at the same time. We don’t necessarily look for anger or irritably or paranoid thoughts. And so I had to claw and climb my way out of this hole by myself.  And it was so painful. And it took a long, long time.

If you are pregnant, or planning to be, I urge you to find out what healthy postpartum behavior and emotions look like.

Open a dialogue between you, your partner and support system, and your doctor and/or therapist in the months leading up so that if you cannot see past your darkness, and you don’t know to reach out, your partner can stand up for you and with you. 

Generally speaking, there aren’t a whole lot of things I mourn for and I am thankful for that, but to say that I’m not still forlorn for what was, and lost in longing for what could have been, would be a lie. Because I am.  Some days I am filled with sorrow for the moments of missed opportunity. But at the same time I am grateful for those moments and for my subsequent clarity.  I am also grateful for a wonderful and supportive partner in my husband.  Because of our experience we prepared ourselves for the next two times I gave birth. And those times were absolutely perfect. 

My story has a happy ending; all’s well that ends well. But it could’ve been better.  So my call-to-action for you – #mywishformoms AND their support teams: take the classes, learn as much as you can about postpartum depression; be prepared for anything and have a plan with your partner. That person may be the one that has to pull you out. 

Design Plan + Vision Board for Em’s Room

Before you read: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to purchase through my links, at no cost to you. Please read my disclosure for more info.

One of my favorite things about our house is all the natural light – which is why when we moved in Scott and I decided to only put blinds on 12 of the 30+ windows.  One of my least favorite things? (side note: we are blessed to have the home we have and I love every inch of it, but I still have things I would love to improve – who doesn’t? It is ever evolving.) Because it’s a brand new house in a brand new neighborhood… it’s just like every single house in the neighborhood.

My design aesthetic (look at me using fancy words) is pretty eclectic –

I like a mix of brightly colored art, vintage accents, a monotone look paired with textural elements, modern and graphic touches – pretty much anything. I find things that I like and make them work anywhere I can at home (which is why I have a lot of things collected just waiting for the right spot to make sense).  Themes and matchy-matchy just aren’t my thing and besides, I’ve found that if you collect the things that bring you joy (thank you, Marie Condo) they all end up meshing together perfectly.

And if you stick to what you love and avoid following what’s “on trend”, you’ll design a home that you’ll never grow tired of.

Design Plan
Switching up something as simple as a light fixture can make a big statement.
Chandelier from Wayfair
Design Plan
Don’t be afraid to mix and match your dining “sets”!
Table from Crate & Barrel; chairs from Magnolia Home for Value City.
Design Plan
Keeping a relatively monotone color palette and adding texture is a great way to keep things interesting without it being too busy.
Ottoman and lamp shade from Target; baskets from Crate & Barrel; curtains from anthropologie; chair is vintage from Scott’s grandmother and one of my favorite things
Design Plan
Collect the things that bring you joy and they will more than likely work perfectly together.

So while we did bring the first floor to a level of “complete” that makes it feel like home, I’m diving into each room individually starting with Little Girl’s room –

and it’s mostly because she is now potty trained and I don’t need a changing table anymore (stay-tuned: DIY changing table to dresser conversion).  If it were up to Emily, it would be pink princess flower glitter ballerina trolls everything. We’ve decided to compromise on the design plan.     

Design Plan
Design Plan

The starting point for my vision board is the Fusion Mineral paint color “little teapot”. This will be the color of her bed, the changing table-turned-dresser DIY, the cube bookshelf, and the step stool and I will closely match the wall/ceiling color to the furniture (yes, I paint ceilings).  Em’s room is the smallest bedroom and having the light-monochromatic base color will help it feel light and open. From there, I will be keeping some of the existing elements, changing some elements (like the changing table), and adding some elements (the DIY princess canopy because #basic and I found the CUTEST felt potted plant that I’m in love with).  Below is the information for the products in the vision board as well as a picture of Em’s room now. Come along with me as I dive into this project!

Design Plan
Design Plan
  1. Paint: Behr – Morning Sky
  2. Princess canopy DIY – stay tuned!
  3. Letter I made for her first birthday
  4. Target: Pillowfort Cloud Sheet Set
  5. Rose drawer knobs
  6. World Market Velvet Pillows: green and pink
  7. Fusion Mineral Paint: Little Teapot
  8. Etsy Cloud Pillow – sold out but this one is similar
  9.  Ikea black and white striped throw – sold out but this one looks AMAZING
  10. Modway Rocker Lounge Chair
  11. Lambskin rug
Design Plan

Questions? Comments? Suggestions!? I’ll take ’em all!

Surviving a 12-hour Road Trip with Kids

Before you read: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to purchase through my links, at no cost to you. Please read my disclosure for more info.

We travel A LOT. With kids. 

And the majority of this travel is in the good ol’ minivan.

And because 98% of my family lives in NH, that is generally our final destination. We make this trek 3-4 times a year and it has taken us anywhere from 7 to 10 hours each way.  Because these trips have become sort of standard for us I usually leave the responsibility of packing toys/car activities/ movies to the kids and I handle packing the snacks and drinks (oh, and EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING for me and the kids). And I would say half of the trips the kids ROCK; 60% of the time they are sleeping or watching a movie quietly, and the other 40% is a mix of asking for food and throwing food trash back at me (which I can handle).   The OTHER half of the trips (road trip with kids) is usually the typical nightmare scenario: “I’m STARVING”, “he’s touching me”, “what state are we in?”, “give it BACK!”, “I’m bored”, “are we almost there?”, “AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” (My toddler and I both contribute to that last one). It’s a crapshoot.

Now, the other 2% of my family just recently moved to a suburb outside of Atlanta. So now that’s a thing.  And yes, flying would be the easiest thing to do – even with luggage and car seats and transportation to the airport and car rentals and potential airport delay nightmares – but having to buy 5 plane tickets just isn’t cost effective right now. SO WE ARE DRIVING.  This trip may eventually become routine like the NH trips (maybe… we’ll see how this road trip with kids goes) BUT because 1) the trip is unchartered territory requiring substantially longer imprisonment 2) why not be over-prepared? and 3) I’m toggling between pretending it’s not happening and being terrified of the trip all together, I decided to create a Road Trip Kit.

Road Trip Matrix for a road trip with kids

road trip with kids
Road trip Matrix for the road trip with kids

I wracked my brain and did a bit of googling, as one does, to find some creative/ cheap/ easy car activities for “boys who like to punch each other and a toddler who likes to scream and throw stuff”.  (KIDDING, kinda).  We definitely plan on including some outside-the-car activities along the way but because traffic and routes are rarely predictable we make these stops on the fly.  For inside-the-car activities, I created a matrix (above) and made sure I had a few in each box to choose from during the trip that I can periodically distribute as needed (picture me dropping them down from the ceiling of the van with a parachute like in the Hunger Games), with the goal of having some left over for the ride back (slash the hope that they last the whole trip).

road trip with kids

Most of the things in the matrix are self explanatory, but I’ll dive into a few…

Scattergories

We play scattergories a lot during meals (both out and in), but not in the traditional sense. We start at the beginning of the alphabet and go through each letter (skipping the same letters that are left off the die in the traditional game, most of the time) and pick a category. The first person to say an acceptable answer gets the point.  Usually we just think of the category on the fly, but for the trip I created a list of categories for each letter to make it effortless. For the trip we will use the white boards (we will also use for the spelling bee) to give each of the boys a chance at earning points for each letter/category.

road trip with kids
Pre-made scattergories list by letter

“Finish the Lyric” & “No Words” music games

So we listen to soundtracks A LOT.  “Finish the Lyric” is exactly how it sounds.  The “NO Words” game was actually created by my toddler.  You know the music in the background during movies? Like the music that plays while stuff is happening or people are talking – I think it’s called background score music? Anyway, when this music comes on in the car Emily will start telling us what part of the movie it is from.  So I thought it would be fun if I made a playlist of ONLY these songs from various movies and the first person to guess the movie it’s from gets the point! Maybe bonus points if you can tell what the exact scene from the movie is? We’ll see how it goes.

road trip with kids

BINGO

I was going to create our own BINGO boards but I decided to farm this one out for time purposes (I can go pretty far down the rabbit hole when creating art and graphics, and then it’s 6 hours later, it’s dark and I don’t know where the kids are). I had these BINGO cards from Travelchannel.com printed and laminated (thanks FedEX!) so we can use dry erase markers to play. 

road trip with kids

Art Stuff

I picked up three clipboards from Staples and a $3 13 pocket file folder to hold coloring pages, mazes, connect the dots, color by numbers (all printed from various places online – my favorite two: momjunction.com and thsprucecrafts.com), stickers, pencils, and crayons (divided up into 3 bags because #sharingsucks).  

road trip with kids

What creative things do you do/bring to keep it civil in the car on car trips? Tell me in the comments!