0
0

momlife

Planning Outfits for a Family Photo Shoot

Before you read: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to purchase through my links, at no cost to you. Please read my disclosure for more info.

One of the coolest things about raising kiddos is watching their personalities slowly emerge. It always amazes me how our three, who have more or less grown up in identical settings (with a few moves sprinkled in) can be SO different.  Like most, we have thousands of photos documenting the growth in our smartphones, but we also make it a priority to get professional family photos done every couple years (and we try to coordinate the outfits for a family photo shoot).   

  • August 2019
  • November 2017

Now, as the kids are getting older and getting more “themselves”, I try not to make them wear things that aren’t “them” (read: the kids control pretty much everything). We’ve never been the “matchy-matchy” type family, but the Type A, art and design junkie, math geek in me likes cohesion. Margaret Clattenburg of Margaret Clara Photography advises against being too matchy, too.

“Complimentary colors are good and if someone plans to wear a pattern someone else should wear a solid color.  For moms, maxi flowy dresses always photograph nicely.”

Margaret Clattenburg of Margaret Clara Photography

Professional photographers will know how to photograph whatever you wear, but if you’re just getting out the old tripod (or doing the “grab a bunch of stuff and balance the smart phone” thing)…

Here are some things to think about when planning outfits for a family photo shoot:

Find a Signature Piece … and build from there.

It isn’t as simple as picking a color theme:  one person’s “blue” may be drastically different than your “blue”. Just as denim for one may be dark blue skinny jeans, but for another it may be an acid wash mini skirt (and probably not a good one).  Look in your closet, your partner’s closet, your childrens’ closets. Browse some of your favorite online retailers. Find something – ONE THING – that you are drawn to, whether it is for yourself or one of your family members, and one that is authentic to the style of the individual it is for. Something that can be worn even beyond the outfit for a family photo shoot (obviously this box is checked if it’s already in the closet). Now here’s the key: this piece should have the most colors in it and should be a print or pattern.

For our latest shoot, the starting point was this miniboden dress for Emily.  Bonus: it was on sale! I liked it because the print provided a color palette to build the other outfits with, but it was also very simple and timeless. And it was ***very*** Emily. 

Focus on the kids first… then the grownups.

For two reasons: 

  1. because it’s cheaper/more fun/easier/etc. to choose something your kids already have OR to purchase an item or two to compliment what they already have; and
  2. let’s be honest, they’re really the stars of the show anyway, so, best have them looking 100%.

So following this logic, the signature piece will, 99.9% of the time, be something one of the kids is wearing and the other outfits are built based on this foundation.

When planning the other outfits for a family photo shoot, choose things that have something in common with this focal point piece.  So if your focal point is a pattern with blue, red, yellow, and pink, maybe you select a white shirt with the same red as a stripe.  It’s important that the common thread (see what I did there) “match”, but that’s it.  You could even choose the same pattern in completely separate colors. This is a tad trickier, but in this situation, the pattern is the commonality.

Benny and Alex’s outfits were built simultaneously using the blue and red from Emily’s dress.

Address the pickiest person/ people… FIRST.

This rule may come into play when picking the signature piece.  But, PLOT TWIST, it also may be the last person you address, which would mean the most neutral of outfits.  It sounds contradictory, but each situation is different. For our family, believe it or not, the pickiest is Benny, our 8 year old.  Rarely is he ever NOT wearing active wear, and when he does, an argument has probably ensued, which has ONLY been resolved through heavy negotiations and bribery. We kept his outfit simple for this photo shoot: white tee and these blue shorts from the GAP.  These shorts are GREAT because they look “dressy” but Surprise! They’re actually athletic shorts. Benny was pretty pumped about it. And Alex… will wear just about anything but must always be sparkling.

  • Second pickiest is probably Scott, which is why his outfit is simple and is almost always a combination of under armour golf shirt, under armour shorts, and/or a plain-ish tee.
  • Alex’s crab shirt can be found here!

Let the clothes speak… for the individual wearing them.

Don’t put your daughter in a dress if she would rather be in jeans and sneakers.  Don’t put your son in a polo shirt if he hates to be in “fancy” clothes. If people aren’t feeling “themselves”, not only will the shoot not go as smoothly, but the resulting pictures won’t be representative of who you are as a family. You want to look back at the photos and see authenticity, not people playing dress-up (there’s always the beach boardwalk old time photos for that!).

My outfit: Trust Me Bodysuit by Free People + Emmett Wide-Leg Crop Pants by Madewell + Mirage Sandal by Matisse

Location, location, location… may not be *that* important.

You don’t need to go anywhere exotic to get great photos. Afterall, it’s merely a backdrop for your display of love! If it’s important to you, go to a location with meaning, but I have honestly seen some great locations on the side of the road. The *timing* of the shoot, however, is key.  “Unless you want really contrast photos, never plan for between 10-3.” says Clattenburg. But if you want to shoot within those hours, she recommends somewhere with taller trees to diffuse the light.

Golden hour falls between an hour to an hour and a half before sunset (or after sunrise).  Plan accordingly!

For extended families…the same rules apply.

Don’t be too vague or too specific. If people want detailed instructions on what to wear, they’ll ask (and then you can send them what your nuclear family is wearing for reference); otherwise give people the freedom to wear what they feel comfortable in for. 

Comfortable people = happy people = great photos.  

Outfits for a family photo shoot
So much cohesion, I’m obsessed. Then there are Benny’s red slides…

Tell me in the comments below, do you have regular family photos taken? How often?

A giant, love-filled thank you to Margaret Clattenburg (Margaret Clara Photography) for sharing her wonderful photography skills with us. As usual, we could not be more in love with our family photos. If you’re on the hunt for a wedding/family/newborn/maternity/birthday/you-name-it photographer, reach out to Margaret via her website or any of the social media channels. You will not be disappointed!

10 Summer Vacation Must-Haves

summer vacation must-haves

Before you read: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to purchase through my links, at no cost to you. Please read my disclosure for more info.

I suppose the BEST time to post my summer vacation must-haves would be before the first week of summer but here we are already at the beginning of July  (because time flies when you’re wrangling kids all day  having fun) so there’s no time like the present. Because we all know there is a lot more summer to be had, AND, unless your summer is front-loaded, there are vacations to go on.  I use every item on this list pretty much daily, at home and while traveling (and, surprise, most of them I use all year round). Great news: there is something for everyone on this list! (Spoiler alert – the last one is the only way I remain somewhat sane while the kids roam the neighborhood.)

Thinksport Kids Safe Sunscreen SPF 50+ (3 ounce)

summer vacation must-have

Think minimizing exposure to sun + minimizing exposure to toxins + minimzing cost.  EWG gives ThinkSport the best rating possible, which means while I can’t prevent the kids from eating an occasional bag of birthday cake mini muffins, I can protect them from the sun by using a sunscreen with ingredients that pose a low health concern.

Herschel Fourteen Waist Pack, Black, One Size

summer vacation must-haves

I have a few beltbags (I ended up getting the Madewell one on sale that I mentioned in this post!). They are just so utilitarian, OF COURSE they’re on the summer vacation must-haves list! For the casual days when I’m just heading out for a bit I use this one from Herschel Supply Company and I also have the larger one for when I’m heading out for a few hours (i.e., music festivals!). It fits everything, there’s nothing hanging on your shoulder, and comes in a ton of fun colors!

Huzi Infinity Pillow – Design Travel Pillow and Soft Neck Support Pillow – Machine Washable (Navy)

summer vacation must-haves

The greatest travel pillow that ever lived.  I purchased this for my Coachella trip last year after doing a decent amount of research.  Why, you ask, did I do so much research for a neck pillow? 1) for some reason the standard neck pillow doesn’t quite cut it – maybe because I have a longish neck? and 2) taking a red-eye back from a three-day festival to three young kids REQUIRES a decent night’s sleep. Since I got this I take it on car trips, plane trips, and I actually sleep with it every night at home. This pillow can be worn in so many different ways and is made out of bamboo material so it’s soft, breathable, and cool.  Bonus: it is washer/dryer safe!

JACK BLACK – Intense Therapy Lip Balm SPF 25 – Green Tea Antioxidants, Long Lasting Treatment, Broad-Spectrum UVA and UVB Protection, Lemon & Shea Butter Flavor, 0.25 oz.

summer vacation must-haves

Anytime I get a new lip balm, it gets half-used and then gets melted, lost, or eaten by children. This stuff though… I have one in the bathroom, one in my bag and one in the car AT ALL TIMES. It protects against sun, wind, extreme temps, and treats dry, irritated, and cracked lips. It actually penetrates your lips instead of just sitting on the surface like a wax until you wipe/lick it off; your lips are soft and smooth without having to reapply a million times. My favorite is the lemon and shea butter flavor.

Curad Performance Series Antibacterial Adhesive Bandages, 1 X 3.25 Inch, 20 count

summer vacation must-haves

You know you’re a mom when you gush over adhesive bandages… But seriously, these are the best ones I’ve EVER used.  The pads are antibacterial and super absorbent, they are made with super tough fabric so they last on active kids, and they come in some pretty fun colors. I get the variety pack at our local grocery store – it has every shape and size you could ever possibly need and if you get creative with a sharpie, you’re two year old will believe you when you tell her the light blue is an Elsa one.

Bumble and Bumble Surf Infusion for Unisex Spray, 1.5 Ounce

summer vacation must-haves

Next on the list of summer vacation must-haves is the Surf Infusion spray by Bumble and Bumble. This is not your typical sea salt spray; it is infused with oil to help prevent over-drying so you get beachy waves without looking like the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. Definitely one to keep on hand, especially for those of us with color-treated or processed hair.

Lumify Redness Reliever Eye Drops 0.25 Fl Oz (7.5mL)

summer vacation must-haves

Another recommendation from sister Jackie! These eye drops are perfect for after long days at the beach, or after long nights out. It’s simple: one drop in each eye gets the whites whiter.

SUNGAIT Vintage Round Sunglasses for Women Classic Retro Designer Style (Black Frame Matte Finish/Grey Gradient Lens)

At the risk of sounding like a broken record… I’m including these sunglasses on this list even though I already raved about them here!

Too Faced Better Than Sex Waterproof Mascara Black 0.13oz/3.9g

This list of summer vacation must-haves wouldn’t be complete without a waterproof mascara. As a lover of the regular Better Than Sex mascara, I knew the waterproof version wouldn’t disappoint. The wand is key to creating voluminous lashes that stay put even at the gym or pool!

Gizmo Watch

With so much polarization surrounding kids and technology, its refreshing to find a piece of tech that I can get down with. When we moved into the neighborhood I was hesitant to let the boys roam about, especially to places where I couldn’t see them. Enter the Gizmo Watch. It is 4G LTE compatible and supports two-way voice calls and messaging to/from up to nine numbers that you program through the GizmoHub app. The app also provides functions such as reminder scheduling, fitness and activity monitoring, and location tracking. It makes calling the boys home for dinner a breeze. My favorite part? I can pull up the map on the app and see exactly where they are in real time. Anytime, anywhere.

I hope you find this list of summer vacation must-haves useful – now carry on with your summertime fun!

Hindsight: A Postpartum Depression Story

You know those moments that you think back on and wish they had gone a certain way? It’s not necessarily regret, but a sort of frustration and understanding that, with the knowledge you now have, being on the “other side” of it, it could have gone so differently. It’s the moments that were within your control (and/or the control of the people around you) that you yearn for, to do it over again. 

The birth of my first son is that moment for me.  Well, not the actual birth but the hours, days, weeks, and months that followed (and, perhaps, the months leading up to it).  

This story has a happy ending.  Other than coming two weeks early with the cord around his neck there were no complications. Benny is a healthy and happy almost 8 year old. But the moments immediately after his birth were lonely. I barely remember holding him. What I do remember is being in bed in the dimly lit hospital room, half reclined and half naked in the bed, with numb legs and a numb mind, just waiting.  Waiting for the doctors to finish repairing me. Waiting or the feeling to come back to my lower half. Waiting for the chance to nurse my son. Waiting for the transfer to my post partum room.  Waiting for… something else? With no baby in my arms. For hours. I didn’t ask questions. I thought it was how it was supposed to be.  It’s still unclear why I only had mere seconds to hold my newborn son after his birth. (It was only after having two more children and experiencing the moments after birth that I became conscious of what could have been with Benny.)

I remember trying to nurse with a room full of visitors after finally being reunited with Benny: tears rolling down my face as I unsuccessfully attempted to fulfill the most basic human need for my son; my husband propping up a pillow to block the view of us in the bed instead of asking the visitors to leave; nurses squeezing and pulling and making comments about my body. And I realize now that in that moment I had failed myself.

In the weeks after we left the hospital, I continued to experience failure:  the failure to breastfeed (because I had assumed it would just happen and so I wasn’t prepared); the failure to speak up for what I wanted (for me and my son, for our new little family, for boundaries that needed to be set); the failure of my support system (admittedly to no fault of their own, they were just as unprepared as I was); the failure to ask for help because I didn’t know I needed it.   

And in all this failure, I sunk into my darkness of postpartum depression. 

But my darkness wasn’t filled with sadness and crying.  It wasn’t filled with disconnectedness and a lack of love for my son.  It was filled with anxiety. It was filled with anger and distrust and paranoia.  I felt like a failure as a mother because I couldn’t nurse my son, so I compensated with being in control of every second of his being.  I felt like everyone was trying to take my baby from me, so I very rarely allowed visitors.  Because I rarely wanted to leave the house, tension rose between my husband and me and furthered my isolating thoughts.  And so everyone was against me; it was just Benny and me against the world. 

Some women say that they knew something wasn’t “right” which prompted them to seek help.  Women experiencing postpartum depression in a second or subsequent birth after a “normal” experience may possibly have the awareness to recognize that. But this was my first time, and I didn’t. I thought I was being rational. I didn’t know it was supposed to be different.  I didn’t think I needed help.  I went to my post partum check up and answered the questions: “do you feel ‘sad’ or unable to connect with your newborn?” – NO. And no one stepped in and said, “this may not be normal, let’s go together and talk to someone”. And so our tiny family suffered in our dawning moments.  And I suffered silently in my darkness. 

My judgment was so clouded that I was not aware that I needed help, but I am not placing blame entirely on the people that surrounded me.  Most people look for textbook signs of depression when identifying postpartum depression. But it’s not just sadness, continuous crying, and disconnectedness.  It’s anger and paranoia.  It’s being emotionally irrational, being controlling and feeling out of control at the same time. We don’t necessarily look for anger or irritably or paranoid thoughts. And so I had to claw and climb my way out of this hole by myself.  And it was so painful. And it took a long, long time.

If you are pregnant, or planning to be, I urge you to find out what healthy postpartum behavior and emotions look like.

Open a dialogue between you, your partner and support system, and your doctor and/or therapist in the months leading up so that if you cannot see past your darkness, and you don’t know to reach out, your partner can stand up for you and with you. 

Generally speaking, there aren’t a whole lot of things I mourn for and I am thankful for that, but to say that I’m not still forlorn for what was, and lost in longing for what could have been, would be a lie. Because I am.  Some days I am filled with sorrow for the moments of missed opportunity. But at the same time I am grateful for those moments and for my subsequent clarity.  I am also grateful for a wonderful and supportive partner in my husband.  Because of our experience we prepared ourselves for the next two times I gave birth. And those times were absolutely perfect. 

My story has a happy ending; all’s well that ends well. But it could’ve been better.  So my call-to-action for you – #mywishformoms AND their support teams: take the classes, learn as much as you can about postpartum depression; be prepared for anything and have a plan with your partner. That person may be the one that has to pull you out. 

This is me.

Like most things that push you out of your comfort zone, I found reason after reason to put off writing this.  

Every time I would get the creative spark to write – there’s laundry to fold, kids to feed, dishes to wash, TV to catch up on, a house to clean, a family to snuggle… and truthfully, these things are everything I never knew I always wanted.

But if I’m honest, I found myself continually saying “something is missing”. But as I sit here writing (actually by hand because we don’t have a laptop and THAT was one of my reasons to procrastinate), my mind comes to life and I can’t get the words out fast enough.  There is so much I want to share and do and give to anyone who will accept it and until now I’ve been ignoring that craving.

During the most recent episode of “The Stay at Home Mom: overworked and under-appreciated” is when I had my revelation. 

My husband, Scott, was saying the right things: “You are appreciated, I know it’s hard, you do a great job, the kids love you…” AND he was saying the wrong things: “I’m at work all day too and I can’t just stop even though I may want to sometimes”. And then it hit me and I said “Well, you know what…. I COULD.  I could stop doing laundry and no one would complain; they would just take stuff out of the hamper and wear it dirty.  I could stop trying to make “edible” clean meals; chicken nuggets and tots all day, everyday would be fine with them.  I could stop keeping every game and every puzzle together and organized; generally speaking no one seems to mind a mess or missing pieces. I could stop trying to keep the house clean; crumbs on the floor and junk on the counter don’t bother anyone but me.”  

And it wasn’t the actual statements that shocked me the most – because in the most logical reality, and in my heart, I know they aren’t true.

No, what stopped me in my tracks at that moment is how regularly I let my brain travel to those thoughts.  And I know this isn’t a unique narrative; most of you have probably felt this way at some point.  

So, I will tell you that while I didn’t solve the problem immediately, I recognizedthat it was a problem that I couldsolve. Ideally I needed something to be proud of in addition to, but in no way controlled by, my primary job: being a mom and a home boss (this is a thing, right?).  Essentially, something that married the two; something I could work on independently that would feed the creative edge and who knows, maybe even benefit others as well.

And Cate Before a Mirror was born.  

(Well, there were a few more steps – I’m looking at you, Maskcara – but eventually this is where I arrived.)  In this space you will find everything from mom-life hacks, to beauty and skincare products and application tips, to real talk and reflections on mental health, to DIY and design projects, to tried and true recipes and restaurants we love, and everything in between. 

So, to all of you out there – 

  • the happy stay-at-home mom who lives everyday for her kids;
  • the working mom who needs a quick dinner idea;
  • a new mom suffering with postpartum depression with no support;
  • the girl who just needs a good laugh;
  • the woman in a rut, who looks in the mirror can’t see herself anymore;
  • the newbie exploring the world of DIY;
  • the college student trying to hide her eating disorder, afraid to reach out for help;
  • the girl looking for a kindred spirit;

No matter who and where you are in life, may you find solidarity here.  Because I am all of those people, too. 

I’m not going to tell you much more about who I think I am – because you will see me as you want to see me – “in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions” but stick around, what you’ll find out is that “I’m a brain… and an athlete… and a basket case”… and a mom, and a wife, and an artist, and a creative spirit looking for a place to shine… and so much more.

(Oh and I’m also a compulsive movie quote-r… thanks, Breakfast Club!)

May you find whatever it is you are looking for here.